The Long and Short of It

We spent 4 days at the beach and this is the solo picture of the actual beach

So my family was away this weekend on a beach trip.  It was wonderful being with everyone again--seeing cousins play together on the beach *for the first time ever*.  We built sandcastles, flew kites, swam, sunbathed, giggled, played, and had a blast.

While we were drinking in the beauty of the beach, an anniversary came and quietly went.  There wasn't much fanfare.  In fact, the whole of it was marked by a sweet text from my CC.

September 1st marked 13 years without Mama.

13 years.

It's a long time friends.

The best way to capture how I feel now, 13 years later, is to direct you to this beautiful post by Lisa Jo Baker.  I read it and wept, hoping I could keep such a promise to my girls.  I wept knowing that my Mama made the promise to me oh so many years ago, and kept it, each and every hard day.  Losing my mother meant losing the maker of such a promise.  It is a very lonely feeling.

This song saw me through some pretty dark days

I remember the days of reeling, wondering how I would ever survive another.  How would I plan a wedding and walk down the aisle without Mama?  How would I prepare for motherhood without her?  Who would I call when babies were fussy with fever and there was mess from start to finish?  How would I do this?

And yet His grace is sufficient.

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,

because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor.

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,

to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners,

to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor and the day of vengeance of our God,

to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion--

to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning,

and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.

They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.

Isaiah 61:1-3

This scripture (a little out of context, maybe?) describes perfectly how the past 13 years have been.  I pray, how I pray, that I can be called an oak of righteousness, a display of His splendor.  I am so thankful for the healing in my life these past 13 years.  I am thankful for the reminders of Mama I see in Nikole.  I am thankful for the safety of CC.  I am thankful.